Kingsly's Scribbling

Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. Luke 14: 25, 26 Wherever Jesus went, large crowd followed. People followed him for different reasons. This time Jesus turned to the crowd and said these words which would have made them uncomfortable. Jesus is saying unless you give it all, you cannot be my disciple. He did not say, you cannot be a mature disciple or a committed disciple. He simply says, you cannot be my disciple. And in that list the last thing he mentions is your own life. I think that's because that's the last thing we give or surrender.  Peter said he gave up everything for Jesus but we see he had an unsurrendered self. People are willing to give up their family and possession and go into the ministry but they never give up their self.  Surrendering your self is a dai

Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will never fail, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys.  - Luke 12:33  I have been thinking about this verse today. Does Jesus really mean this? Sell and Give. I have never in my life sold anything just to give to the poor.  I have given to the poor out of my excess. I have never gone to the extend of selling and giving.  I can very well pass by this command of Jesus saying its not what he meant. I may also say that the bottom line is to care for the poor and store riches in heaven.  But that "selling" part? What's that all about?  

 I am using the following words to speak to God. Wake up, O Lord! Why do you sleep?  - Psalms 44:23 Why do you look the other way?      Why do you ignore our suffering and oppression?  - Psalms 44:24 Wake up, my God - Psalms 7:6 That's how i feel. I feel that God is sleeping when we are suffering. I am comforted that God in his mercy has given me these words of the psalmist and encourages me to be honest in my prayers.  I am also reminded of Jesus who slept through the storm. The roaring winds and the waves did not seem to wake him up. His disciples cried out to him saying' Don't you care if we drown? And Jesus woke up. The voices of his disciples/followers/friends woke him up. Its amazing that the one who was not disturbed by the mighty winds and waves was disturbed by the feeble fearful cries of his people.How did he hear their voice amidst of the storm? Hope my voice would disturb him. Lord wake up. Lord calm the storm. Lord rebuke my sorrow, fear restless

Somethings in our life with and in God seems crystal clear till God disturbs us in his faithfulness. When we expect God to act in a way which seems to us as the faithfulness of God, he acts in ways which completely contradicts my idea of how he works and what faithfulness is. Recently, i lost my close friend, Augustine and am deeply hurt. His health issue was not healed. My expectation of what God in his faithfulness would do was not met. Problems were not fixed. He heals all my disease says psalms 103:3. But he did not heal. C S Lewis says, "Every idea of Him we form He must in mercy shatter...." He did shatter a lot of it when Augustine died. Instead of giving me clear answers, He has given me a lot of questions. He has disturbed my idea of so many things in life. It clearly seems He did not work for me in this issue. Why would a God who is for me not work for me? May be he is working in me using this issue (God, who began a good work within you...) Maybe its s